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10:36

Fuck it, if it happens it happens. You can go, just go. You gotta just let it go how it goes.

You gotta close your eyes and say goodbye to that shit.

Only let the other stuff get in. That’s all that’s worth it.

You’re thinking it as you’re walking, I know you’ve been there. Of course I do, I am God! I made you, so of course I know.

I’m lying, of course. Did I get you for a second? I am not God.

I’m just waiting for pizza. I have to be in front of the building by 10:36. I am supposed to be home by now, but I’m not. That’s how it is. We’re here.

10:36. Only a few minutes left. Stop trying to make the time pass. It’ll pass whether or not you try. Stop putting energy into it!

10:36 is closing in. Gotta get home soon. What’ll happen if I don’t? Don’t care to find out.

The walls are taller than me and the darkness makes the buildings look even taller. Oh boy, I might have messed up. No going backwards, ever. No use trying!

Go forward, move ahead. This is not plagiarism. This is just the nature of the thing. I try to do what my mind wants to, in any given moment. I don’t always succeed, and that’s why I’m not always honest. Hopefully that isn’t a problem that only applies to me.

I think I’m supposed to be leaving soon. I’m not, though. Not right now. Trying to roll with it.

It’s 10:36! You didn’t even notice the clock change. You feel different. You’re tired, and the night is waning, and you didn’t even notice! What a dramatic transformation.

You find your moment again, but it’s fleeting. Gotta own it. Trying to stay loosey-goosey with it, not always succeeding. It’s hard. Shouldn’t be, but it is. Waiting, kind of. Losing it, back again.

It’s the present. It’s still dark out. Just passage. All’s as it should be, and as it almost always is. Almost, except sometimes it feels different. You should stop now. It’s past 10:36 and it’s time for you to stop. Move! Forward! Keep mixing it up! Make a memory! That’s a lot of pressure. Fuck it, keep doing this. It’s good, right now.

I’m done.

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